New Day

Five in the morning, alone in the community room. I have the earbuds in, listening to the brilliant new Swervedriver album.  Music...my saving grace.  Also my nemesis at times.  It's like reading Fante, Bukowski, Burroughs, etc.  It is so easy to get caught up in the story and emotion; imagining that I am living vicariously through the romantic antics of these poor, broken individuals.  But they had a story to tell, and it was real and in your face.  They are gone, but they really lived.  I think the part that is always glossed over is the real pain, which, unfortunately, takes up most of the dash, although the authors may not want, or be able to, talk about it.  I can.

For every hour of joy, there are countless hours of hopelessness, pain, and despair.  Every once in a while you get an hour or two of relative peace, but the life of an alcoholic is a constant struggle; a scramble to keep afloat.  Once I was at a rehab and they brought family members in for a session one night.  The question was posed to both groups (family and alcoholics):  describe in a word or two how you perceive the life of the alcoholic to be.

Family responses included:  selfishness, easy, shiftless, happy, uncaring, partying, to mention a few.

Alcoholics:  pain, agony, loneliness, hopeless, unloved, desperate.

That, in itself, tells a lot.  There is a new book out there called Chasing the Scream, by Johann Hari..  It presents a pretty convincing case for the legalization of all drugs.  Sounds like too much?  Read the book.  It could change your view on a lot of things, the least of which could be your view toward the addict or alcoholic.  It is a horrible life, and compassion, not punitive measures, is the only way to stop what has made the US the laughing stock of the world when it comes to the way we deal with drug and alcohol offenders.