Back in Brockton, Not sure why, blew a 0.0 when I got there and then the same an hour later. Came in on a Thursday am, it's now Saturday, and they refuse to let me leave. I am fuming, primarily for allowing myself to be brought to this place. It's a lock down ward, so otherwise I would simply walk out. Hopefully I can make my escape tomorrow. Surprising enough, there is no one here I know. They are all 60-somethings, and sadly, I see my face in theirs. That's depressing indeed. I am not even sure of the circumstances that got me here, can't wait to see what bridges I burned this time. I know the girlfriend is gone, and I don't even care at this point. Jesus.
So I am a vegetarian, and they have fucked up my food since the get go. Here and everywhere. "Can't you just pick around the beef in the stew'" they ask. Fuck them all. They just don't get it and I am tired of trying to explain my habits. The four sublime states of Buddism are love, compassion' sympathetic joy, and equanimity. No where is murder discussed. I must be a bad Buddhist. Forgive me, Buddha. Awaken me to the truth.
I have been losing a ton of weight. Down to 163 and can't figure it out. Simply not hungry, especially here. Time for a half gallon of skim milk. Hey, if you have been hanging in this blog, please share and give me feedback. I am trying to work with a guy in NSW to consolidate some of this stuff. It would be a lot of work, but it is time for me to write. The great American novel is underway. -TRJ
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