Troubles ahead...

The nurse came in about five minutes later.  'Yes?'  'Hi.  I've been here a while and I haven't had the chance to talk to anyone,' I said.  'I've really been drinking a lot lately, I've had some stuff going on. The point is, is that I haven't had a drink in a while and I feel pretty lousy.  Is there something you can give me to help me out?'  I tried to look sincere.  She looked curiously at the line of crackers on the table. 'I'll see what I can do,' she said, and turned and walked out.  I didn't know how to read that, so I just waited.

A few minutes later she returned.  "Mr. Jackson?'  'Yes?' I responded.  'When you came in you had a blood alcohol level of point three two three.  We can't give you any medication until that level comes down.  Uh oh, I thought.  'How far does it have to come down?'  'The doctor wants you to be at about a point one oh before he will prescribe anything. You will come down about point zero two per hour, so we need to wait a while.'  Shit, I thought, as I did the math.  Even under the influence, this kind of math I can do.  I'm like a homing pigeon in that way.  We were looking at about eleven or twelve hours from when they took the sample.  I was panicking.  'When did you draw the blood?' I asked.  She said, 'I'll have to check your chart, but I believe it was about five hours ago.  We will take another sample at about ten o'clock and see where you are.  Can I get you anything now?'  I was stunned.  'Some ibuprofen?'  Anything.  I needed to prepare.  'And another glass of water, please?'  I knew that I was in for it.  I was looking at at least five more hours, and I was already falling apart.  I wanted to scream and upend the table next to me.  This cannot be comprehended by the non-alcoholic.  This is what brings men to their knees; what keeps them drinking when they know it is killing them.  You can get so far, then you hit a wall, a tsunami which pushes you back into the bottle.  I was shaking, sweating, every cell in my body was squirming with agony.  And I had five hours to go.  I looked at those cracker bits.  And, for some reason, at that exact moment, I decided that I was going to make it through.  I had had enough.  And as if I had a choice, anyway.