Hello, Librium!

I wrapped the blankets around me and curled up, trying to make myself as small as possible.  The smaller I am, the less there is to hurt.  To my surprise, after only five minutes, a technician came in to draw blood.  'Mr. Jackson?'  'Yes.'  'Can I have your date of birth?  Can you verify your social security number'  I provided the information and sat up. The needle went in, the blood went out.  I asked, 'How long before the results come back?'  'Probably about a half hour to forty-five minutes.  We're slow tonight.'  I had no response.  I laid back down, reset my stopwatch, and prepared myself for the wait.  Every five minutes, I decided, I would restart the stopwatch.

If you have ever been addicted to alcohol, you understand how excruciatingly painful this time is.  It's a combination of the physical withdrawal and the anxiety for anticipation of relief.  Unfortunately, these two interact exponentially.  I was out of crackers and drenched in sweat.  I had no way to know how much time had passed.  Suddenly, there was a knock at my door.  I pressed a button and took a quick look at the time.  Eleven.  Salvation was at hand.  Again, 'Mr. Jackson?'  'Hi, come in please,' I begged.  'My name is Nicole, and I'm a social worker.  I would like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.'  I tried to process this, but the neurons were misfiring.  The synapses wouldn't bridge. I just looked at her dumbly, and she said, 'I was going to talk to you earlier, but I had to wait until your blood alcohol was below a certain level, to make sure you understood what we talk about.  Are you OK to answer a few questions?'  I opened my mouth to respond just as a nurse pushed into the room.  'Before you get started, do you mind if I give him some medication?  Mr. Jackson, I have some comfort meds for you.  I am giving you 50 milligrams of Librium, as well as some sub-lingual Ativan.  It should take the edge off and make you feel better able to talk to Nicole.'  She handed me two little green and white capsules and a small paper cup of water.  I drank those down, then she popped a small pill out of a foil package.  'Here, put this under your tongue to dissolve.  It will take just a couple of minutes, try not to swallow it.'  I put it under my tongue.  'Yank you,'  I said as she walked away, keeping that little pill firmly in place under my tongue.  I closed my eyes and laid my head down.  Yank you, I said to myself.